Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Such is life.






My friend picked these beautiful roses from the bushes in my yard. As she arranged the blooms and placed them on the black baby grand (on loan from my parents), sunlight streaked through open blinds into the room. The magazine-like scene sent my brain spinning and FINALLY I thought it would be a perfect metaphor to write about on my sadly absent blog. After taking several pictures, I started thinking of subject lines.

"Looking at life through rose-colored glasses!"

"Hardman Car Company's new rosey outlook on life"

"Roses are red, violets are blue, The Car Salesman's wife's optimistic view"

"Trimming back can bring brilliance- all it takes is time"

"Every rose has it's thorn, just like every car lot has it's sad, sad, recession"

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted by my friend shouting, "CAROLYN! Sheep are eating your roses!" I ran out the back door to find about 15 of my neighbors sheep lined up in assembly like fashion munching on tasty crimson rose bushes that line my fence. I shouted, yelled, and ran after them, shuffling them through the gate my son had left slightly ajar. My poor bushes took a brutal beating from the beasts and the perfume smell that was there just moments before was now replaced with the wretched stench of sheep poo.

The "blogger block" that has plagued me for the past few months quickly found its place back in my heart as I walked around the yard shoveling up the piles of "stank". It wasn't until tonight, as I mowed my lawn, looking at my sorry lot of once magnificent flora that I realized what a perfect metaphor this story is to a car salesman's wife recently.

Like the beautifully displayed blossoms on my piano, many things have been exceptional in the past few months. AND- like the stinky beasts that took away my exceptional blooms and dropped a bunch of crap on my yard, many things have been frustrating, sad, and annoying in the past few months.

Overall though, I must remember roses always come back and like life, it is worth it to prick myself on their thorns a few times in order to enjoy their beauty.

Monday, April 12, 2010

A bunny and a lamb



March was a cold month. I wrote in the beginning of the month about it "coming in like a lion" and hoping it would "go out like a lamb". But with many days of snow, wind and cold- that seemed pretty unlikely. It wasn't until a couple of days before Easter when we had a semi-warm afternoon that I followed my kids to my neighbor's yard and saw a picture book like sign of the season change.

At the end of the gravel driveway leading to the back of their home, we saw their sheep lazily grazing in the yard, overgrown with matted white wool. In the corner of the yard, a tiny black lamb stood on it's shaky legs and let out a baby sounding "baaaa". At that moment, a beautiful brown bunny with a white cotton tail hopped across the little pasture over to one of the sheep. The bunny jumped playfully in between the sheep's legs and like a little puppy, teased his new friends by bouncing on their noses as they ate. It was an unbelievable spring picture, captivating and perfect at the end of a gloomy weather month.

Luckily, the old March saying held true for our business too. It did come in like a Lion and although it did not end up quite as picturesque as the afternoon scene at the neighbor's, it did finish with renewed hope for the months to come.

Friday, March 26, 2010

The Flying Pig


Bedtime at our house is 10 PM. Many times 10:30 and nights like tonight, 11:00. I know that's late. There have definitely been embarassing moments when I've purposely avoided sharing that fact during "mommy talk" on volunteer day at the school. One mom will start with, "Oh, what a horrible night, my kids would not go to sleep. It was nine o'clock before those stinkers finally collapsed." Another might chime in, "Oh, I know! And with daylight savings time they are hassling me so much cause they have to go to bed when it is still light outside. Well I am not giving up my precious hours of alone time." I usually nod, secretly wishing I had some of those "precious hours of alone time" they were talking about, but never outwardly admit our bedtime sins.

There is justification in our late hours, it is quite easily explained with, "my husband is a car salesman." If the kids are lucky, their dad walks in the door around 7:30 or 8:00, allowing only two hours of much needed "dad time". (For the kids and for me.) Sonny gets pulled in lots of directions when he gets home, making the evening come alive with superhero talk, computer games to conquer and imaginitive ways to throw bouncy balls at the kids just the right way to make them squeal in excitement. Tonight was one of those nights, busy, loud, and quick. Around 9:55 my responsible 7 year old told me I needed to "stop watching my show and put him to bed." (nice attempt at precious alone time. I'd already tried to move myself into a different room so no one would find me, but I was met with failure.)

At about this same moment our doorbell rang. A couple we are friends with came over to say "hi" so I sent the boys upstairs with pajama assignmets and teeth brushing orders and walked to our messy kitchen table for brief conversation. After awhile Asher and Beck worked their way back downstairs, loving the attention they were getting from strangers. Asher's little "wow, now I can really get attention!" light bulb must have gone off in his little head because he was instantly monopolizing the wife of our visiting duo. He tripped over his words telling story after story about Fluffy Fluffy mom, dad and baby (3 teddy bears), Thor, Captain America and Spiderwoman's crazy adventures of the day and Turtwig, Squirttle Wirrtle, and Ash ketchum- pausing only to allow our friend to try to repeat the name Squirrtle Wirrtle until she got it right. (A pretty impossible feat with our little four year old's pre-school sounding letter tones).

Around 11:00 a call from the stairs informed us "I should be going to bed at 9:30, not 11:00- your friends are staying way too late. Someone needs to put me to bed." Feeling like my dad had just ordered the party to stop and a little guilty that it was actually my son reprimanding my bad behavior, I excused myself and walked upstairs.

Grayson greeted me with a signature scowl and said, "It's a good thing I had this book to read." I apologized and while he climbed onto his already made bed, not wanting to climb "inside" because that would require him to have to make it again in the morning, he pulled his extra fuzzy WALL-E character blanket over his neon yellow Spongebob pajama'd self and told me about his book.

"It's about this pig who wants to fly- but nobody thinks he can do it, so his one friend is the only one who keeps telling him he can. I think the moral of the story is that if you have a dream, you should try and try to do it no matter what. Just keep trying." (He must be learning about story morals, because he'd asked me what the moral was to the Bee Movie earlier that day.)

"I think you're right. That is a great moral. So, if you had an impossible dream, like this flying pig, what would it be?" I asked him.

He thought for a moment, beginning first with a disclaimer, "Well, I don't know if this could be done until maybe the 22nd century (how'd he know there was a 22nd century?) but, I think I want to invent the first teleporter. See, if we had a teleporter it would help people in so many ways. I would never be late for school, we could jump from one country to another country in a second, you could be upstairs and then downstairs in a flash. Stuff like that."

"Wow, that would be amazing. Maybe we could find some inventing books at the library and read more about what it would take to do that." I wondered if I should point out that his impossible dream was really pretty much impossible. He's a smart kid, maybe I could explain how matter can't be broken up and re-put together in other places like that- but then I'm not a smart enough mom to really know what the heck I would mean by that."

He then asked me, "What's your impossible dream mom?" Hmmm. My impossible dream? I knew what it was at age 7, (to be an olympic gymnast-I got far, but no where near there.), I knew what it was at age 24, (to be a successful business owner, I started a yoga business, but found out it was harder than it looked and sold it. I support my husband with Hardman Car Co. but right now I don't think we could call that successful). Hmmm. Can you even have impossible dreams after the age of 30? I was actually a little surprised by the answer, I told him, "I want to write." Really? I do? This writing thing is new to me. I have only basic college English under my belt, know very little vocabulary words, and spend almost zero time practicing- but that is what I said.

So as my responsible 7 year old laid his head on his pillow, dreaming of teleporters and time machines, I thought about how I could be a writer. Remembering my neglected blog, (this is only the 3rd of the month) I excitedly went downstairs and grabbed my laptop. I know it is just a beginning, but I feel better when I at least try to write something. So at 12:14 AM, I am now going to say good night hoping this entry will get me a little closer to becoming a flying pig myself someday.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Sign that Sells


How often do you hear "It's a sign - his hair is brown, I'm suppose to marry him." or "It's a sign, I'm wearing blue and that puppy has blue eyes- I am suppose to have him."? We can think of all kinds of reasons to do or not to do things. This cosmic theory that somehow our destiny is being told to us through "signs" is a common one. Whether we believe events that occur in our lives tell us the path we should take or not, this week we've found that they certainly might help when selling a used car.

Sonny greeted a couple looking at a Mercedes on our lot just last week. They seemed impressed by the car, took it for a test drive, and after handing the keys back told Sonny, "we'll let you know." Saying "goodbye", Sonny went back to his office and his customers went to their car. While sitting by the security camera feed, he watched as the Mercedes customers sat. They sat, and sat in their car. After awhile Sonny decided there must be something wrong, so he walked out and gently knocked on their window, asking them, "is everything okay?"

"Oh, ya, we're just looking up some comparison prices on our phones. No big deal." They responded.

"Ok, sounds good, let me know if you need anything." Sonny left them to sit in their car. He returned to his office and watched as they sat some more.

Eventually, they exited their car, and came into the building. After greeting them again, they explained to Sonny that their car would not start. "We've decided it is a sign, we want to buy your Mercedes."

It looks like the cosmic world aligned for all parties involved. They got a great car for an awesome price, and we got a chance to move some inventory and make space for more "signs" in hopefully a lot more customer's lives.

Monday, March 1, 2010

In Like a Lion

The bulletin board in my Kindergarten classroom was covered in green paper on the first day of March. Clovers and leprechauns with cheery faces digging through pots of gold at the end of a rainbow bordered the words that read, "MARCH- It comes in like a lion and out like a lamb."

Being in Kindergarten, I could hardly read the words, let alone understand what they meant. We shared the classroom of my country school with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders so sometimes our decorations were a little "above" the two of us in the Kindergarten class. I remember Mrs. Buessing taking us over to the board and talking to us about the month of March. She had put these words there as a metaphor for what the weather is usually like during the month. "March usually starts out cold, snowy and windy. Kind of like a lion's roar, it comes in scary and strong" My favorite grade school teacher explained, "But when March comes to end, spring time begins and we hope that the weather turns gentle and warm like a soft baby lamb would be." Though Nebraska weather is a kind of mystery and did not always follow Mrs. Buessing's bulletin board statement, I always hear her say it in my head when the month begins.

This March 1st holds true to the metaphor, racing in like a lion but hopefully going out like a lamb. February was one of the worst months in Hardman Car Company history. Full of stress, low customer numbers, and even more bad news in the automotive industry. Sonny has worked hard, long hours that have not gone unnoticed by his family. As a wife I've tried to make it more bearable but sometimes feel sad that I can't help even more.

Last night, as our weekend closed, Sonny said, with as much positive vibe he could muster, "March 1st..." Instead of his prior first of month positive statements of "It's going to be a good month!" he just recognized it is a new month.

It always helps to put rough times behind us (the month of February) and see the new month as a potential new beginning. Even though it is a month roaring in with scariness and fury, there is a small hope instilled by a country school teacher that it will calm and hopefully end quietly, softly and lamb like.

Monday, February 22, 2010

It's Hard to Breathe


I watched part of the movie "Miracle" while I ran a few miles on the treadmill today. I am starting training for a half marathon next week and wanted to get a few practice miles in before then. I have had very little motivation to run lately, but after eating my children's bag of popcorn at target and enjoying way too many Tim Tam cookies- I knew that Beckett's nap time gave me a great excuse to get moving.

As I ran, I watched as the 1976 US hockey team lost their first season game against the Soviet Union, 6-0. After the game, coach Brooks made his team stay behind and condition. They skated long after the rink closed, skating in the dark, bodies burning in pain obeying a coach determined to challenge them and make them champions. I ran and watched as one team member yelled his name and shouted that he played for the USA. A big step, indicating that he was an asset to this team, not an independent player from some other organization. The coach was waiting for that. He excused his team from the ice, and I gulped through broken breaths and a little bit of tears more determined to not give up on my simple run. It was hard to breathe, but I felt like I had wings.

I have enjoyed the past week of Winter Olympics. I have had several broken breath moments and tear streaked faces as I've learned more about the athletes competing. Sometimes I find myself living in the past, wishing I was still young enough to be one of those athletes walking in with team USA during opening ceremonies. Knowing that option doesn't exist, my focus turns then to my children- all of which seem totally uninterested in anything happening in Vancouver right now.

So I guess I resort to success on the small scale of my life. I am happy to get motivation from the great stories of Evan Lysacek, Lindsey Vonn, Apollo Ono and the 1976 USA hockey team. I know that Sonny and I won't be the best in all life races we run, but we will have experiences that make it hard breathe, and that's a good thing.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Kung Fu Philosophies

I never thought I'd be a mom that uses a TV in the car, but truthfully, I do. Traveling on our outings, the kids enjoy watching some of their favorite shows and it always seems to go in cycles. We'll usually have one DVD in for a few days at a time, starting and finishing in different spots of the show. The most recent DVD selection has been Kung Fu Panda, The Furious Five. I have never actually seen the movie (as I am driving during the showing) but I have heard it a few times. The premise is this: Jack Black's character, Po, gathers young students of the ancient art to talk with them about the "secrets" of Kung Fu. He shares stories of five Kung Fu masters, nicknamed the "Furious Five" and tells how each of them became the great masters they are. Each story expresses a quality that masters of Kung Fu should emulate: Patience, Courage, Compassion, Confidence and Discipline.

As we've driven around town, the kids have asked about each of these qualities and I've thrown in little remarks like, "Maybe you should have some COMPASSION toward your brother and help him with his seat belt?" Or "Sorry, we're not getting McDonalds, we're trying to be DISCIPLINED." Yesterday, I found that me and the little bunnies on the show were not the only one's learning from the "Dragon Warrior" and had another great parenting moment from our household optimist, Asher.

We sat down to dinner earlier than usual because the kids were starving. After picking Grayson up from school, we had a few errands to run, dropping off kids, delivering packages, and to the bank to deposit some checks. It took longer than I thought and by the time we got to the bank, it was 5:00, right in time for the evening rush. Grayson had not eaten anything since school and after offering my earlier response toward McDonalds, his cravings had yet to be satisfied. We sat in line at the bank drive through for much, much, longer than anticipated. The wait was so annoyingly long it was not just waring on my kids- I was frustrated too. After the deposits had finally been made, we bolted home and threw in some frozen pizza.

Sitting around the dinner table I asked the kids what their "best and worst" were for the day. (A tradition we have to tell each other what the best part and worst parts of our days were.)Grayson answered the latter part of the question first, "Well my worst was waiting forever in that huge line of cars at the dumb bank!" He furrowed his eyebrows and took a bite of pizza. Asher was quick to follow, "Ya, and my best was having PATIENCE while we waited in line at the bank." I chuckled. I guess we all see things differently.

Always grateful for the cute comments of my kids, I'll take a cue from them and work to have the COURAGE to do what's right, the CONFIDENCE to try new things, COMPASSION when I get upset, PATIENCE when I am frustrated and DISCIPLINE as I work toward my goals.

Monday, February 8, 2010

A cheesy tooth story

Grayson's tears flowed, interrupted only by the short screams and moans coming out of him. "Oh nooo, I have a really loose tooth! Oh noooo, I'm going to swallow it. Oh noooo, it will bleed everywhere. Don't touch it! Don't touch it! No, No, No!"



Sonny and I chuckled at the fear in our 7 year old. He has been waiting to lose a tooth for two years now. He is the last in his school class to lose a tooth, often coming home from school complaining that he is the only one with all of his baby teeth. He has struggled through his self imposed ridicule beginning in Kindergarten, throughout first grade, and into the third quarter of second. You would think this universal "coming of age" event would bring happiness to him, but no, it is utter fear.

We tried to coax him into letting us just pull it out. We reasoned with him, promising no pain, no more fear, and an added bonus left by a little lady called the tooth fairy. Nothing we said could change his mind. He preferred to live in denial, hoping the tooth would somehow re-position itself in his mouth and no longer be a problem. I guess we'll see how school goes today.

While laying in bed last night, laughing to myself about Grayson's honest child reaction to change in his life, I thought of a book I just recently re-read.


Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson is a short parable that tells real truths about change. It uses "cheese" as a metaphor for what you want to have in life- a new job, a relationship, money, health,permanent teeth, etc. There are 4 characters in the book who live in a "maze" and look for "cheese" to nourish them. The "maze" is where you look for what you want- your family, your job, or your community. While in the "maze" they find some "cheese". Two of the characters "keep on their toes", always watching what is happening with the cheese, always ready to move on if they need more cheese, etc. The other two just settle in and accept their "cheese" happily. Every day they do the same thing, go through the maze to the same place to find the same cheese and eat it. Unfortunately, they don't realize the "cheese" supply dwindling and when they get to their spot in the maze one day, they look around and say, "Who Moved My Cheese?"

Of course the two prepared characters were aware of the cheese disappearing. They were ready to run back in the maze and find more "cheese" somewhere else, but the other characters struggled with the loss of "cheese" and didn't want to find anything new. After some time, one of them discovered the need to change and search for new "cheese". He re-entered the "maze" and wrote his experiences on the walls of the "maze", symbolizing the idea that when we finally find the right ways to deal with change- we can have more success and less stress in our lives.

Right now, this world is full of change. Most of our friends, family and colleagues are experiencing some kind of change in their lives. After being reminded of how to successfully deal with it, I am kind of excited for us all to change. It is fun to see what options we have lying around the corners of our "maze". It is scary, but it is also thrilling.
Now I just have to instill this philosophy into Grayson. I never want my children to grow up and be the last character stuck in the "maze" with no "cheese" to make them happy just because they are scared of a little change.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Phishing for Trust



"Do you trust me?" Aladdin reaches his hand toward the beautiful princess Jasmine, inviting her to take a leap of faith. A leap that could quite possibly bring her privileged life to an end but something about him causes her to put her hand in his and answer "Yes." Their lives intertwine, they fall in love, and all is well because she trusted a boy from the streets.

Hmmm. What was it about him that told her in an instant he was someone to trust? Well, we all know the story needed the line to use as a foreshadow, so she could realize who he really was in the end. But, outside of fairy tales and Disney movies can strangers really be trusted? Let me share two stories with you.

I have been selling clothes that I got as retail returns and overstocked items on ebay. There is a wide variety of clothing in the boxes I've received and all are brand new with the tags still on them. I thought this would be a great little business to bring in another stream of income- we have yet to see if it will pay off.

Anyway, one of the items I got was a new Kenneth Cole tuxedo, retailing for $499. I was excited to sell this piece, knowing it would bring me half of what I spent on the whole lot- so I listed on ebay, KSL, and Craigslist. Selling for $175, I got an email from a KSL buyer the day after I listed it. I was so excited!



They were interested in it and asked if it was still available. I replied with an emphatic, YES! The next email said they wanted it, but they would need to pay through paypal because they lived out of the state. I said OK, I gave him my paypal email address and said I would ship it as soon as the payment went in. I then received 3 emails from paypal. The first said I received a payment from the buyer for $175 but in order to protect their clients from fraudulent activity, they needed to hold the payment until they received a tracking number of the sent item. The next email notified me of a "Payment Pending" and the last email said the same thing, except it had a bunch of aaaaaaaaaaaaaa before every line. There were lots of places I could click to go to paypal and put in my password and account info., I didn't though.

I thought it seemed a little fishy, but I was excited to sell the tux, and the buyer emailed me again asking for the tracking number. I went to the UPS store and shipped the box. When I got home, I went back to my email to send the tracking number, and had a funny feeling about it. So, I logged into my paypal account first, checking to see if the payment was there, and there was nothing. I called paypal and they informed me that this buyer was attempting a "phishing scam" on me. Wikepedia defines a Phishing scam as this:

In the field of computer security, phishing is the criminally fraudulent process of attempting to acquire sensitive information such as usernames, passwords and credit card details by masquerading as a trustworthy entity in an electronic communication. Communications purporting to be from popular social web sites, auction sites, online payment processors or IT administrators are commonly used to lure the unsuspecting public. Phishing is typically carried out by e-mail or instant messaging,[1] and it often directs users to enter details at a fake website whose look and feel are almost identical to the legitimate one. Even when using server authentication, it may require tremendous skill to detect that the website is fake. Phishing is an example of social engineering techniques used to fool users,[2] and exploits the poor usability of current web security technologies.[3] Attempts to deal with the growing number of reported phishing incidents include legislation, user training, public awareness, and technical security measures.

I called the UPS store, they still had my package there and refunded my money. I forwarded all the emails from the buyer to paypal and hotmail, changed my paypal password and cancelled my credit card for good measure. I felt emotionally violated.

It was such a switch from the morning when I was expecting an extra $175 to come into my account to having such a close call to my entire account being wiped out, and a great tuxedo disappear! I got another email from the buyer today asking where the tracking number is. I responded: "I realized you are doing a phishing scam so you will not get my product. I hope you stop and get caught." He hasn't emailed back.

I am a gullible person, wanting to trust everyone I meet. If I were Jasmine today and a strange boy asked, "Do you trust me?" with his hand outstretched wanting me to jump to my possible death, I would probably punch him in the face and run the other direction.

At the same time, I do believe there are trustworthy people in this world. Even strangers.

For example, the other day, Sonny had a young couple with an 8 month old baby come to the lot and look at a BMW. Their baby had fallen asleep in their car and wanting not to move her, Sonny offered to stand and watch the baby while they test drove the BMW. They agreed. The couple took off, leaving a stranger to watch their sleeping baby in their car.

That seems crazy to me! This couple trusted a person that works in probably the most famous occupation for dishonesty and didn't think twice about leaving their baby in his care. I have noticed that people do this a lot with Sonny. There is an "air" about him that shows people he is trustworthy. If there was a way to teach others how to create this "air" we could probably make a lot of money, but I think it is just a God given talent. One that is only visible when people truly are honest and have integrity.

So, in finishing this discussion I guess I will move forward with a stronger caution toward others, but I will also do my best to look for the "trust" in those I meet. I also hope that my experiences help others to avoid the evil "wizards" in this world and find at least a few honest boys that work hard to save their princesses.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

What's in your backpack?

It is funny to re-read my blogs. I realize that I write a lot about recognizing the good things in our life and getting through our trials. I suppose it is because that is what the life of a car salesman's wife is wrapped up in right now. I expect it is similar to lives of most wives out there, so I hope that my writings aren't just working as a therapy for me, but help out some of you too.

If you are a mother, I think you'd agree that your children teach you a lot about life. This week Asher taught me yet another lesson about smiling and embracing hardships that come our way.

"Can I have a backpack?" Asher had been asking that question since bedtime the night before. I had reminded him that we would need to get ready early the next day because we were going to his cardiologist appointment.

Since birth,Dr. Susan Etheridge has been his doctor. She has a fun spirit that is displayed in her tightly curled red hair and vintage Anthropologie dresses. As an infant, she got to see him weekly- holding his hand in hers, warming her stethoscope with her breath before listening to the quick rhythm of his heart. As a toddler she would often join him on the floor while he played with toys during his monthly appointments. Now, she sees him quarterly, never forgetting his face and remembering his love of super-heroes.

"Of course you can have a backpack!" Dr. Etheridge exclaimed, trying to match Asher's enthusiasm. Leaning closer to me she whispered, "he is the only kid I know that likes wearing these."

She glanced over at the small holter monitor sitting on the table beside her. The little package, about the size of a portable game system, had three gray cables coming out of it. Each cable had a small colored piece on the end; red, yellow, and brown. They matched the colored stickers strategically placed on Asher's chest. The colored ends snapped on to the stickers and with a touch of a button, Asher's heart rhythm would be recorded. The portable device easily clips on your belt loop, but for children, they put it in a blue purse looking pocket that ties around you. Most kids wear it on their front, but Asher has always preferred it on his back. Every time he has an appointment, he gets to wear the backpack for 24 hours. This records his heart, then gets sent back to the doctor for analysis.

A wide smile spread across Asher's face as the holter monitor was attached to him and instruction given to wear it for 24 hours.



Asher thinks of his "backpack" as something special. He often plays that it has great powers, making him more super than normal. He also does an excellent job of forgetting it even exists. He sleeps with it on, plays with it on, eats with it on, and never seems to mind. His "backpack" is a literal part of the obstacles he faces in his life and he treats it as a prize. His obstacle makes him smile-

Often people say things like, "I know you're carrying a heavy load." or "You've got a lot on your shoulders." I always picture a person hiking up a big hill with an enormous camping pack strapped to them. Usually they are bent over, struggling under the weight of their gear, slowly moving forward with every step. Yes,we all have our own "backpacks" full of different hardships. We get worn down by them. They make us fall, and sometimes we just don't want to get up. But how great would it be if we looked at our "backpacks" with a smile on our face. What if we even asked for them?

Wearing a monitor on your back with cables in your way is not a fun thing to do. It is annoying, frustrating, and uncomfortable, much like the burdens we carry in our proverbial backpacks. But I believe our backpacks can actually be good for us. In fact, Asher's has been a part of saving his life.

So once again, I write about being happy. I write to encourage us all to find powers from our "backpacks" that will make us stronger in life.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Wake up call

Last Tuesday morning my friend Maren was sitting in a rocking chair around 1:50 AM, trying to keep her eyes open while rocking her baby girl back to sleep. All the sudden, the room started to shake. She heard popping noises in the windows and a loud whooshing sound outside. It only lasted a few seconds. Maren had experienced a low magnitude earth quake that occurred only a few miles from our office.

After her call the next morning, I thought about the need to better prepare my family in the event of a disaster. I took down the pictures over my son's crib, talked to the older boys about "what to do, just in case" and glanced at the outdated 72 hour kits I have tucked away in the basement. Then I went on with my day, worrying about the chores to finish, appointments to make and money to earn.

A stronger reminder jolted me back into "preparedness" mode just one week later. On Tuesday, the people of Haiti fell victim to the most powerful earthquake to hit that area in 200 years. Devastation has overcome the country with millions of dollars of property damage and an ever increasing number of deaths. Life for those in Haiti has changed in an instant. I've been watching news reports, reading the newspaper, and checking the internet for updates. All reports giving me a wake up call, reminding me to count my blessings for the trials I have and to prepare the very best I can for the trials in the future.

So here is my plan today:
Dig out our 72 hour kits
Replace old food with new
Buy some more water bottles
Put together emergency kits for the office
AND
Remember how blessed I am to be a car salesman's wife in a down economy with children who make big messes and a husband that works long hours.

I pray that the families in Haiti will feel the support of others and that we will all take this disaster as a wake up call, putting the things that matter most in life as highest priority.

Monday, January 4, 2010

New Year Metaphors


A year ago, January 2009, I set one of the most challenging resolutions of my life. I resolved to run the Ogden marathon with my dear friend, Maren. Committing to this goal was a major decision that engulfed my life for sixteen weeks between January and May. Amazing experiences occurred during the intense training, helping me grow in all areas of health; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Our race took place the weekend before my 30th birthday. The course ran us through the gorgeous mountains in Ogden canyon, past Pine View Reservoir's shimmering waters, and into the downtown streets of the city of Ogden. 26.2 miles of running gave Maren and I ample time to talk about pretty much everything. Our topics ranged greatly between comments on the scenery, memories of our past, goals for our futures, and even links between actors and actresses while playing the "movie game" for at least an hour. One of the best discussions we had that day took place when we asked each other, "what metaphors of life can we make to running a marathon?" As we talked, we linked almost everything about training and running to the experiences of life.

Here are a few of the metaphors we came up with:

1. A technique we used to conquer hills was not to look at the top of the hill, but to watch our feet instead. When we did this, we were able to feel success by seeing ourselves literally put one foot in front of the other, making slow strides that eventually got us to the top. When we watched the top of the hill and constantly compared our position with how much farther we had to go to reach it, it was depressing and difficult. We compared this training experience to life by noting that when we are faced with seemingly never ending tasks (like Sonny finishing graduate school or mountains of laundry to fold) it is best to take it one step at a time, instead of constantly worrying about how much more you have to do to finish.

2. The Ogden marathon is mostly down hill, except for mile 15. As we neared this mile, we heard some veteran Ogden marathon runners talking about the challenge that lay ahead. They noted their past experience and told us how difficult this mile was. They warned us of its horror and shared stories of how painful it was for them in years past. Maren and I got to the hill, (a much smaller one than what we had anticipated) used our training techniques, and got to the top with hardly any pain. It seemed nothing like the other runners had described. It was almost easy.
This experience reminded us of the many influences in our lives that tell us "no". They say things like, "Why would you start that business? They never succeed." or "You're going to hate that class, the teacher is really annoying." Negative comments that get into your brain and create fear and doubt in yourself.

3. At mile 21 we came out of the canyon and found our family there, cheering us on. Our small boys held home-made signs, they took pictures, yelled our names, and filled our hearts with determination to finish. In life, we all need a support system. Nothing can beat family and friends that cheer us on through the ups and downs, and help get us through it all.




The final most important metaphor I want to share deals with having a positive mental attitude.

In reading books and training manuals to prepare for our race; the authors pointed out the importance of positive mental attitudes. They suggested holding our heads high, and smiling while running. They taught us to write our own mantras to repeat to ourselves while we ran. They told us to conquer the elements around us by saying to ourselves things like, "Oh, hello hill. I've been waiting for you, come run with me." According to these marathon running masters, the crucial factor to marathon success was a positive attitude.

I embraced this guidance and did my best to smile throughout the entire 4 hour and 53minute run. I talked positively to myself and feel that this was a key component to accomplishing the biggest New Year resolution of my life so far.

This becomes an easy comparison to life. Positive self talk, personal affirmations, smiling when times get tough, and welcoming challenges into our lives are all extremely important ways to live successfully.




As the new year begins, Sonny and I are setting more resolutions. None as grand as last year's marathon, but many that focus on the metaphors I learned from it. In fact, just this morning, despite recent news of GM discontinuing Saturn and Pontiac, and the automotive industry still on the rocks, Sonny optimistically said, "January is going to be an awesome month! We are going to sell a ton of cars."

To which I smiled, and said, "Of course we are."