Finding my Ujjay Breath

Sonny and I switched sides of the bed last night.

He usually sleeps on the side closest to the window air conditioner we put in our walk-in closet during the summer. We have central air, but our bedroom is on the top floor and in this high 90 degree summer weather, it is nice to have additional coldness hitting our bods during the night-especially when my bod has put on an extra 30 pounds and carries another person around with it. Usually I put a fan on my side and let it blow in my face while I sleep with no sheets or blankets and very little clothing. After a long day of trying to diffuse battles between children, new school schedules, the scouts "Raingutter Regata" competition without Sonny's help, and then a late night throw up from Grayson, last night I needed more, so I got the air conditioning.

As most parents know switching sides of the bed can cause much confusion for little ones during the blackness of night. Both Asher and Beck joined us- trying to find out what had happened- completely confused at the irregularity of mom on the West and dad on the East. As the four of us tried to sleep, I laid uncomfortably in an even warmer bed with a pillow between my legs and feet in my back, wondering how I was going to make it.

In only 1 month I will have another boy joining my life. With him comes sleepless nights, busier schedules, even less time for myself, messier houses, more laundry, very little romance, etc. I have also decided to deliver this baby at a birthing center instead of a hospital and am needing to empower my strong yoga body and mind I claim to have in order to make it through a completely new natural birthing experience. These are the things I thought about during my sleepless moments in bed last night. Starting to panic a bit, I tried to tell myself to focus on the good things. Find my Ujjay breath and get myself to relax.

It was easy for me to list all of the annoying, frustrating things that have been making life harder lately. But when I finally started getting my yogi breathing going and worked on identifying the positives- here are some things I came up with.

I love holding newborn babies.
Sonny had a good week at the dealership.
I am not throwing up anymore.
I have a great, supportive family. (I just got to see them all for Michael's wedding- it was so fun)



I have healthy kids.



Though I've gotten large, I am a healthy prego mommy.

I enjoy learning.

I have food in my pantry.


These are just some of the many things I tried to make myself thankful for as I struggled last night. You know what? It kinda worked. (Sonny taking Asher to his own bed helped too). I actually fell back to sleep and started my new day today wanting to get things done, be creative, and enjoy life a little more.
I'm crossing my fingers that I can keep this frame of mind for at least a few more weeks. That's all I've got before the world entirely explodes.